Yesterday I commented about personal responsibility and how it affects others and it got me thinking about my roles as a daughter and a mother (just to name 2). As a daughter my role has been gifted to me by my God; it is THE first gift I received and with that gift comes responsibility. My role as a mother comes with different responsibilities because it was my choice to be a mother, with God as the intercessory (and some sperm) making it possible.
My role as a daughter had me totally reliant on my mother or father to care for my every need and gradually that reliance became less and less as I grew up. It was the exact opposite in my role as a parent, being the caretaker for my child, and as he has grown my care for him has become less and less.
As I look back and forward at both of these roles, the responsibilities interchange but rarely overlap. As a parent of a now 32 year old it is my responsibility to know when to step in when I’m needed and to wait and offer my opinion on something in his life. I must know that he will do it his way and by not doing it ‘my way’ it is OK. His life is not about me any longer but about creating a life for himself. At this point I am a mere spectator in his life, basically watching from the sideline. While I’ll always be his mother I feel we are best of friends and we have achieved that by being respectful of and to each other as adults.
As the daughter of an 82 year old mother who, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2001, my role has morphed into that of a mother or basically her caretaker. Over the years I have watched a very strong and independent woman become more and more child like. I have often joked that Mary is the daughter I never gave birth to. She is basically a 5 year old little girl and needs daily care for her meals, personal care and homecare. If left to her own resources, she would not have the ability to eat, bathe or tidy her house on her own. But the effect this disease has on her mental facilities is heartbreaking because she is emotionally a child as well. Everyday she calls me mother because she recognizes me in the role as a mother and every day I tell her how much I love her and and give her a hug before I venture home.
And so the circle of life continues, and if the Lord wills it, I will age and mine and my son’s roles will reverse as well.
In these blogs I will be incorporating scripture that is reflective of my thought and today it is Exodus 20: vs. 12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.
Love how life cycles. I too can see the roles reversing as the child becomes the parent. And now as my boys grow older and more independent it is hard to let the umbilical cord out more and more. I do and pray that what I have taught them will be remembered throughout the day. From early on I've told them that when I'm not physically with them...God is there to protect them. I hope even at these young ages they find some comfort in that.
ReplyDeleteIt was one month yesterday that Ian's dad passed. Feeling sad. Thanks for listening.
As my parents get older, I see my role as son reversing to some degree, especially my relationship with my dad. They seem to rely more and more on me and my siblings. It seems strange in some respects, but is something that I am happy to do.
ReplyDeleteGod's strength to you Mo. Take the positive from each day if you can. BTW I love this picture of your son and Mom but love the one of the two cats hugging in your first post! How'd they do that?
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