....and friends that go....

To tell you that my heart is broken is an absolute understatement. How do you know a person for almost 50 years and find out a week after they died, that they died. This wasn't an occasional acquaintance, but a life long friend. I have been so angry and sad and they intertwine like a bad dream and all I want to do is to make some sense of it all, but it just never comes.

Jane was diagnosed back in June of 2008 with cancer in her lung. It seemed easy enough, cancer, cut it out, chemo, radiation & get on the mend! Hmmmmmm, at least it seemed simple enough. I remember I was at Sue's mother Jeanette's wake and I saw Jane, but didn't recognize her, and she realized that and recognized me first. Where the fuck is your hair, was my first thought? Jane in her humility, told me to be calm and be comfortable with her hair, or lack thereof.

But let me back up a bit. I've known Jane Lynk for as along as my memory serves me. I think we knew each other about 5 or so and went onward from there. In the 6th grade Jane moved to 110 Hoyt Avenue, Staten Island, which may have read California or Wisconsin. But Jane rode the bus from SI to Bayonne everyday to attend school at St. Mary's. Her first boyfriend was Tommy Kane and she had a wicked bad perm one year and got the shit kicked out of her by Denise Rogers. One time we were all bad and while Carol Rogers was hit by Harry's Beer truck, Jane and I hid behind Kenny's chair in his room cause we were petrified to come out.

My dearest friend, I already miss you and want to come over to you and hug you until I cannot hug you any longer. I cannot imagine mylife without you in it. While we may not have seen each other often, I know that you are my guide and my rock. My dearest friend, I love you and miss you and will do so, always.

Friends that come, and go

Way back in the 1980's I met a young man who impressed me very much. He was the paper delivery 'boy' (teen) for my brother in law Beatnik (Paul Bodnar). He has since married, fathered 2 wonderful children, become successful in his career and our paths have crossed so many times in our lives, too many times to recollect. Over the years I have met and gotten to know his wife Petrine and have come to not only like her, but admire her in her wit, confidence, compassion, steadfastness, & strength, only to name a few. A few years ago they offered their Cape May home to me for a week while they were not going to be able to use it and of course, Miss Pretty Nala & I went and had such a relaxing week. Petrine, Donald & I have been talking for years about doing a week or a weekend together in Cape May but the next thing you know the summer fades and so does the opportunity to get together. When we saw each other in June, we pulled out our calendars and secured the 26th of August thru the 31st as my time to join them in Cape May as both of their teens will be away.


As the time got closer I thought, does she really want me down there for 5 nights & 6 days? Will they tire of me or vice versa? Usually a vaca is filled with too much 'stuff' and I cannot wait to get home. Not this time. My first day, Petrine and I went to a bar/restaurant called Harpoon Henry's to have a few beers & some appies and watch the sun set. Oh MY :) The next day we both woke up late and she made me an awesome breakfast of poached eggs & we relaxed over some coffeee and headed out in the afternoon into the square to shop and browse and went home to some wine, conversation and friendship. When Donald & their friend Carol arrived later that night we all sat up and chatted had a few drinks and started our weekend and what a weekend it was. Sleeping late, hovering over coffee and chatting at the breakfast table until noon in our PJs and a casual afternoon. The rest of the weekend went along just like this, sleeping late, long breakfasts, casual afternoons & evenings, great conversation & most of all friendship. When Tuesday came along I thought I would leave early to get some items attended to, but we went to the beach & sat and chatted. Petrine made a delicious chilli to give me energy to drive home.

Blessed doesn't even describe this weekend, this family and this friendship.

I know this is long, and I won't keept this but very short, in the Title of this blog it is 'Friends that come, and go', I will write next about my lifelong friend that has gone, Jane Lynk D'Ambra who lost her life to cancer on Friday, the 27th. Unfortunately, I didn't find out about it until today and am devastated that I was not able to participate in her services. Peace out my good friend Jane.

Psalm 31:16Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love